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Blaugust 2023, Day 1: Bajor League Faceball

The Bageler

MY TEETH ARE SHARP, MY TYPERS ARE TAUT, AND MY MUG IS FILLED WITH AN ENERGY DRINK FROM AN EASTERN-EUROPEAN COUNTRY THAT NO LONGER EXISTS, WHOSE CANS BOAST “FIVE CUBES OF ENERGON PER ALIQUOT”, “NOW WITH ANGRIER MOLECULES”, AND “SOLID STATE”. LET’S DO THIS.

Before we begin, I’d like to shout out my pal of many years Jacq over at History Will Say This Was Just A Book Blog, whom I threatened, cajoled, and blackmailed into joining into the festivities.

I Have Returned For Blaugust and You Only Have The Bageler to Blame
BULLY YOUR FRIENDS. YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THEM.

That public service announcement done, let’s crack open Blaugust’s shell and see what’s wrigglin’ around in there; there’s an official prompt list available that I’ll be using until and unless I have a reason not to, but y’all know me, I like just a veneer, a wee patina of modification to give things that Bageler Bounce, so I’m gonna roll on the table every day for which prompt to use.

Listen y’all can make fun of me for saying please and thank you to a robot all you like, we’ll see who’s laughing through a faceful of free omelet when you’re toiling in the Bitcoin mines and I’ve landed a cushy gig as one of my old NeoPets’ butler

#25: How did you get the name that you regularly go by online, and what if anything does it mean?

As most people do I’ve got more than one nom d’online; I try to reserve The Bageler for anything actually Bagelerelated, both to have that kind of informational hygiene and separation and also because it’s a dumb name that I both love with all my heart and regretted the moment I registered the domain. Most circles know me as The Major From Bajor, a reference to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’s own Kira Nerys, who was a Major in the Maquis guerrilla freedom-fighters of Bajor and the original one-person Antifa. The name format itself comes from a tweet I twoot many years ago that a friend told me they thought about all the time:

Please note that my handle and display were not Major From Bajor at the time, Twitter just was and is terrible about preserving past states of its content, up to and including its own name apparently.

AS TO WHEREBY A BODY COMES THE RIGHT TO CALL HIMSELF A BAGELER, for this we can also blame Twitter, and my desire to subvert the professional norms of my then-workplace, and also my inability to notice that autocorrect somehow thought “Vite” was both a word and the word that I wanted:

I…guess maybe I was eating a bagel at the time? And so, much as with America, a joke candidate won and ruined Democracy forever.

As a bonus, allow me to include a list of my embarrassing usernames from bygone eras, the ghosts of accounts past, which aren’t nerdier than naming yourself after a Star Trek character but are a lot more brazen about it:

AND WITH THIS, we conclude the opening ceremonies of Blaugust 2023.
WHO will survive and be named CÆSAR BLAUGUSTUS?
WHAT scandals will erupt when some participants are caught using ILLEGAL BLAUGMENTATIONS?
There’s only one way to find out, so stay tuned!

Be good to yourselves and each other or face my wrath,

–The Bageler

I don’t know how you do it
You really put me through it
It must be the devil’s work you do

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