The very finest in fake lies, yelling, and jokes that aren't worth the legwork
Some years ago, when I worked in an office building, I took what decent people referred to as a health break and what monsters and criminals referred to as a bio break, both of which are what people whose minds haven’t been broken by corporate soul-worms would simply call going to the friggin’ bathroom. I…
(What’s all this then? See Part I to catch up and uncover the secret of how I got this terrible scar!) I broke this article in half because I thought it was too long all in one piece, and then it dang turned out all the too-long was in the second half anyway, I dunno,…
This gentle dumbass does not generally truck in certainty; there’s a bit in The Fellowship of the Ring where Frodo’s talking to some Elves who give him unhelpful advice, and we get the following: ‘And it is also said,’ answered Frodo: ‘Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and…
YEAH, WHAT TÉODOR SAID Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere–if nothing else, WordPress managed to get my annual re-up fee out of me literally a week ago, so you bet your collective ass I’ll be around at least another year out of sheer spite–but I am having a FEELINGS about this and I can think…
BEIN’ SPOOKED, END OF STORY.Nah jk I probably did some other stuff too, like quit Twitter; lemme have a rummage. (Obligatory reminder to subscribe to my once-monthly newsletter here, which rounds up everything I wrote in the preceding month, grants access to a curated members-only Spotify playlist, and includes a piece of exclusive bonus collectible content…
I…love words. I love learning them, love learning about them, love using the exact right one, love using far more of them than are, strictly speaking, necessary. There are, however, some that, if offered the chance, I would beat the living shit out of in an Applebee’s parking lot at 2am like James Kirk would…
Picture it: I dunno like two weeks ago. One of my followers–oh that’s right, I’ve got a posse–read one of my Monthly Books Read Lists and replied like so: Reader gentle, reader dear–reader feral, reader I fear–I have a problem which is common to many of us: I was raised to think that assessing myself…
Especially since the advent of this site, I’ve allocated all of my Media Enjoyment Action Points to the ‘Comics’ column, leaving only baseline levels, influenced by my stats and equipment bonuses, for things like Non-Comic Books and Video Games, to say nothing of non-media exploits. I can’t remember the last time I woodburned a devotary…
The story of a man’s love for a woman, that woman’s love for salty orange garbage-squares, and the Michigander genius who gave their weird love form.
(The Dispatch From My Office is a column I write for my company newsletter in hopes of bringing a touch of the recognizably human to our employees from the management side; I reprint them here because I have fun doing and work hard on them and because, let us not deny it, dude’s gotta post…