The very finest in fake lies, yelling, and jokes that aren't worth the legwork
Here’s where I’ve gathered all of my New Comic Book Day articles! It’s pretty self-explanatory, really.
Okay listen: You know I love you people but my wife’s job is doing a cake for her birthday in forty minutes, and like, comics are still gonna be there later today, but the same cannot be said of cake, so let’s roll this beautiful book footage and get your boi a slice. (Obligatory reminder…
AS BEFITS THE SPOOKITY SZN, our yard has been claimed as the home, albeit probably temporary, of TWO BLACK CATS ₐₙd ₐₗₛₒ ₐ gᵣₑy ₐₙd wₕᵢₜₑ ₜₐᵦᵦy ₒₙₑ, whom we have lent the traveling-names of Hallie Ween (mama, black), Mage (bb #1, black), and Jack (of the Obsessive Bonesman fame, bb #2, tabby). They are…
Well, my wife just called them ‘vampire seeds’ after mishearing me say I was going to have some sunflower seeds, so OBVIOUSLY that’s all I’m ever calling them again; frankly I’m surprised it took this long. She also hates Brad Bellflower, the absolutely fictional founder of Apartments.com, with an incandescent loathing that would kill any…
Pop quiz, gentle readers! Are we watching several small children while their parents travel for a funeral, or looking after very drunk friends who never seem to sober up: I SHOULD HOPE IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING that this is the reason for this week’s late article. Those drunk babies take terrible dictation. (Obligatory reminder to subscribe…
READER: My brain is on fire. Not (or at least not only) for comics reasons, nor for fever reasons because I’m the only one left in this goddamn state who wears a mask, but for a reason I don’t think I’ve ever brought up in my writings here: my lifelong, absolutely personality-destroying obsession with neography,…
Guys, I…think I did a bad thing. At the end of a work meeting today, the Executive Husks passed around this deck of corporate affirmation cards with things like ‘Enthusiasm’ and ‘Confidence’ and ‘Subservience To Authority’ and ‘Not Too Attached To My Family’ on them; you take one, you see the trait in yourself, same…
Hm. Forgot how I start my posts.Well, that’s probably as good a way as any; find below a CURATED SELECTION of the finest graphical novelties on the market, hot from the Comixology mi–y’know what no, I’m 100% sure that if I made that joke I’d get a news alert moments afterward revealing that Amazon did,…
Shortly before beginning this article I received an Alolan Sandshrew in Pokémon Go, courtesy of an egg sent to me by a pal in France; her name is Shrew Barrymore, and I’ve only had her for half an hour but if anything happens to her I will Faint everyone in this gym and then myself….
HELLO. I come to you 𝒶-𝓌𝓇𝒾𝑔𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓃’ in the mucous grip of a wee sickness, a vaguely but profoundly uncomfortable eel hoisted from my rightful mire into a rowboat rented for a poorly-conceived bachelor party. Will they figure out how to cook me before Clarf is reduced to a skeleton in a corduroy tux? Will Glebra…
Yesterday, I called my wife at work to ask what a good name would be for a rat, not a joke-name like Brie Larson or Whisker Briskly: Private Eye, but like a good name. She yelled “MR. COFFEE” and hung up. I don’t know what she was in such a hurry to get back to;…