The Jackson Two is–and this is one of the few things I can guarantee in this godless world–the absolute only podcast where my pals William and Isaac and I read through the entire damn series of Percy Jackson series. I DEFY YOU TO FIND ANOTHER, AND IF YOU DO, I OFFER THIS GOLD PIECE TO THE ONE WHO BRINGS ME ITS HEAD.
The Lion, The Winch, And The Wardrobe (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 19)
Clarisse gets what’s coming to her, PJ gets some advice from a snake, and the Donut Hydra has a job…
A Hooféd Hurricane (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 18)
PONIES TO MEET YOU, FLORIDA, as Luke is in the mood for ribs and Maury has some BIG NEWS for…
Did I Ask For Your Ideas Or Did I Ask For A Dollar (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 17)
The gang wash ashore in the Land of Golden Girls, Luke accidentally becomes a reality TV star at the worst…
Cool Motive, Still Murder (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 16)
The stage is set for the FINAL SHOWDOWN between our two favorite cyclopes, William derides the public’s ability to enjoy…
The Jackson Two Bonus: Southland Tales
Listen nothing I can say here will prepare you for Southland Tales, or indeed for the three of us talking…
The Etsy-Betsy Spider (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 15)
ENGAGE ATTACK PLAN MACEDONIA, ARM THE ANCIENT GREEK PUNS, AND DAMN THE CYCLOPES. Find us on http://www.ItsTheBageler.com, email us at…
Mutton But Trouble (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 14)
PJ and the gang book a ticket to Toon Town, Population: HIJINX. DOES Polyphemus have any discount codes for his…
Boyz II Menudo (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 13)
TAKE me down to the shipwreck graveyard, where the grass is seaweed and the girls are HYPNOTIC and/or tied to…
Every Little Bing She Does Is Magic (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 12)
COME ON IN, WE’VE GOT THE MANI-CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU. You’ve selected our mandatory all-inclusive package, and we’ve lined…
A Fistful Of Bitcoin (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 11)
Steamboat shenanigans get OUT OF HAND AND INTO GIANT MOUTH as PJ and his reluctant crew struggle for their own…
Momster & Poplyphemus (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 10)
Percy applies for a small business loan, Annabeth refuses to check her biclops privilege, we trade POWERFUL PANCAKE SECRETS, and…
Sarcophagus? I ‘Ardly KNOWphagus! (The Sea Of Monsters, Chs. 8 +9)
So, listen, SOMETIMES a Y2K happens and two episodes get their chips chomped EVEN THOUGH THE CLOUD IS A THING.When…
Sonic The Hęrdgëhåg (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 7)
Percy and ABC mend their wounded friendship through the most powerful healing of all: mutual hatred of an authority figure,…
Bunkey Musiness (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 6)
Camp Half-Blood has a latter-day Wacky Races in the parking lot of an HEB, a tradesperson attempts to bamboozle us…
Like Nick At Nite, But Stabbier (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 5)
An upsetting dinner, a sophisticated and agile beverage, casual racism we’re not sure we can tolerate much longer, and surprise…
That Kind Of Moochanism (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch.4)
Aw JEEZ, who let these golden retrievers into our studio?! They’re–NO, MY FICUS! It–PUT THAT DOWN, MR. WORF IS AN…
Noo Doot Aboot It (The Sea Of Monsters, Chapter 3)
Oh are you kidding me–gang I’m so sorry, I left my wallet in the pool, does anybody have exact cab…
The Blamethrower (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 2)
Listen: Sometimes you blow up your school. Sometimes the Lord of the Flies reenactment goes horribly right. SOMETIMES, JOE BOB…
Litmus? I ‘Ardly KNOW Mus! (The Sea Of Monsters, Ch. 1)
PJ’S BACK TO BRAVE THE SEA OF MONSTERS AND SO ARE WE, FOOLS!What the HELL is happening outside the fifth-story…
Basilisk Of Baker Street (Scions Of Camp Half-Blood, S1.E3)
It’s all come down to this! WHO can answer the fiendish riddles three of the Korn Pixies? WILL Mr. Coffee…
I Crave The Cronch (Scions Of Camp Half-Blood, S1.E2)
The second episode of our Percy Jackson & The Olympians-based miniseries in the Scion TTRPG system! Join us for the…
Bulletproof Joie De Vivre (Scions Of Camp Half-Blood, S1.E1)
Friend of the show Isaac kidnaps us and takes us to Camp Half-Blood, where he forces us to create personas…
Ingodnito (The Lightning Thief 2010)
We’re joined by beloved local art-cryptid Tall Greg on a journey through 2010’s floppingest attempt to do what JK Rowling…
Questile Dysfunction (The Lightning Thief, Ch.22)
Goodbyes. Betrayals. Prophecies fulfilled. This is the end. Also true secrets of reality television production techniques involving big ol’ rocks,…
Make America Grape Again (The Lightning Thief, Ch.21)
PJ brings the bolt home to its thunderin’ daddy, has a family reunion, then a family deunion! Also, we pit…
A Game Of Break The Irishman (The Lightning Thief, Ch.20)
A family fracas on the beach escalates, claiming the life of at least one surfboar and producing the largest water-crater…
As Dead As Possible (The Lightning Thief, Ch.19)
The gang gets slorped up like boba by the opposite of a mountain, PJ tries to fight a hole in…
Mary Banilow (The Lightning Thief, Ch.18)
The Brunner Bunch encourage Hades’ exploited workers to start a union, give a neglected multimelonedmegadoggo some much-needed enrichment, and run…
So! You’re A Monstro (TLT.CH17)
Come on down to Crusty’s Waterbed Warehouse, where PRICES AREN’T ALL WE’RE CUTTING IN HALF! Enjoy our spacious showroom and…
Llama Drama (The Lightning Thief, Ch.16)
The dang gang takes a cross-country roadtrip with a zooful of misfit critters and then spend a relaxing time at…
It’s A Spice World Out There (The Lightning Thief, Ch.15)
The gang eats burgers that were SCARED OUT OF A TERRIBLE WAITRESS, visit yet another ossified carcass of once-plentiful American…
A Good Bad Time (The Lightning Thief, Ch.14)
COME GET CATFISHED WITH US! PJ has a wee moment at the bottom of a river–we’ve all been there, we…
Cowabunga It Is, Then (The Lightning Thief, Ch.13)
PJ and the gang douse themselves in paranoia fuel, have a confrontation with a beloved Bakersfield icon and commit some…
A Post-Pokemon World (The Lightning Thief, Ch.12)
PJ and the crew receive GUIDANCE and WISDOM and SASS and TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS from a most unexpected source! Also…
Gor-Gon Girl (The Lightning Thief, Ch.11)
PJ and the Camp Half-Blood crew set about demolishing both a small businesswoman’s shop AND a platter of delicious hamburgers,…
Against All Dodds (The Lightning Thief, Ch.10)
THE GANG GETS BUS-TED! Uncle Rick FINALLY gives us a cool gear-up scene, things go VERY wrong in a bus…
Beam Me Up, Olympus (The Lightning Thief, Ch.9)
PJ gets to wax oracular, gives Chiron a taste of his own ivermectin, and is finally set upon his quest…
The Swording Hat (The Lightning Thief, Ch.8)
PJ and the gang embark on their most perilous and foolhardy trial yet: VIGOROUS EXERCISE IMMEDIATELY AFTER A HUGE BARBECUE…
Pier Pressure (The Lightning Thief, Ch.7)
PJ receives a gift at knifepoint, does accidental sexisms and wastes a PERFECTLY GOOD hunk of mouthwatering brisket! We also…
A Mess O’ Potamia (The Lightning Thief, Ch.6)
ASSUME THE EXPOSITION, campers, ’cause Chiron and Annabeth are HERE TO EXPLAIN SOME STUFF, and WE ARE HERE to be…
Jason Meowmeowa (The Lightning Thief, Ch.5)
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF IN A STRANGE SUMMER CAMP AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF FED A DELICIOUS POPCORN-PUDDING AND…
A Crossfade With Some Stank On It (The Lightning Thief, Ch.4)
PJ finally gets some friggin’ answers around here! And by ‘answers’ we mean ‘car crashes and emotional trauma’. ALSO: A…
Red, White, And Bleu Cheese (The Lightning Thief, Ch.3)
WHOA-OH, SAINT SALLY, BAM-A-LAM, we meet PJ’s mom and his stepfather MOST WICKED, who DOESN’T EVEN USE his discount electronics…
The Gospel Of Pac-Man (The Lightning Thief, Ch.2)
PJ bucks a CORRUPT ACADEMIC SYSTEM and is sentenced to live on a BUS for his THOUGHTCRIMES, where he and…
Spiritually Dutch (The Lightning Thief, Ch.1)
A school visit to the museum goes terribly awry, we discuss Percy’s role in the invasion of Iraq, and learn…